Realization – I made a Classic Mistake

A guy meets a new woman. Follows DYD and other things he has so dearly learned and is able to attract that woman. He acts cocky/challenging, funny, daring, adventurous, and dominant and displays all the other qualities he needs to attract a woman. Eventually, he is successful. The woman is all over him. They exchange numbers and start talking.

The heat of the excitement is always high in the first few days. Since he has started with large attraction, he makes some initial mistakes which are ignored by the unconscious mind of the woman. Very soon the mistakes become clear as the excitement comes down – the guy has turned into a pussy. He has forgotten what attracted the woman at the first place and has turned into a marriage material, a nice, sober guy who works hard day and night to feed his family, gives a lot of compliments to his woman and generally do things which pleases his woman.

Very soon the woman takes control of everything. She begins to loath the kind of guy he has become. This is exactly what she doesn’t want and walks all over him.

This is a classic mistake most men make. And I just made it too (and I’m glad to learn this). I knew this happens, but now I have experienced it practically. There are things we can only learn after we have gone through them. Small things matter. What a great skill this is: Attracting a woman and keeping her attracted.

I wasn’t quite able to understand what had happened for a long time. But now I know – I failed to keep things interesting, to keep her on her toes and brimming with excitement and adventure. I told her that I longed for sex with her, and that she was a worthy woman for me to spend my life with. Result: She gets disinterested as she has gotten what she wants. She has just made another conquest. She begins to act indifferent and everything comes to a halt. One of the reasons that contribute into this is that she has seen me as a long term material and has held back sex and attention.

Very bad.

Lesson

Keep doing ALWAYS what attracted the woman at the first place. Do not turn into a pussy.

Be Different. Never be like other average guys.

Be a mystery, a source of excitement for her. Let your cards, your qualities open up one by one. Let her discover the depth in you – don’t brag.

Act disinterested in sex and her in general. You can live your life without her easily. But take her to bed as soon as possible – you are giving her a gift. Show your love skills. This is the secret of keeping a woman forever interested.

Live an interesting life – full of great things that you like to do. Develop great hobbies if you don’t have any. A woman must be an addition to your life and your presence MUST ENHANCE HER LIFE. If she leaves for any reason, she loses. Living with the belief that you are the best possible choice for your woman is the key secret of all success. Let your thoughts, all actions and your behaviour display this attitude.

Do not get into a relationship before at least dating the woman for 5-6 months. When first meeting a woman, DON’T EVEN THINK of any possibility of a ‘long term relationship’. Continue this attitude until she has proven herself to be a really worthy woman. During this time, you can also let your woman know that you are also dating other women, if you are (and which is always recommended).

ANOTHER LESSON

It’s hard to tell how frustrating it is when the woman is taking control and you don’t know what to do. It increases attraction. Now I understand how women feel when they feel they’re not in control. In their efforts to take control again and again, and consistently failing at it (by virtue of the ninja skills of a PUA), their attraction continues to increase forever.

No matter what, keep things on your terms, always. Even if you do something sweet for your woman, do it on your terms.

Whoa! Let’s move on to my journey again.

Major Realization - Getting Over a BREAK UP- 23 nov, 07

Gosh. What a realization I’ve just had!

Why do people (especially men) literally see their entire life going out of control after experiencing a break up in their love lives.

The human mind is an amazing thing. For that particular reason, it must be kept in control CONSCIOUSLY – through a conscious effort of the will. If put out of control, it can destroy lives easily.

Let’s take an example to understand this. Bob is a guy who’s just out of a relationship where he has been putting his time, energy, attention and will. Clearly, his mind likes being in that relationship and the rewards it promises – emotional support, physical pleasures and a sense of worth. There may be some other cause as well – something which Bob lacks in his own life. Whatever it is, Bob is now in a trouble.

The problem is that Bob has learned to fill these needs - especially his sense of worth.

The moment the other person (partner) takes a step back, which may be a move out of lost interest in the relationship or a planned move of seduction, the person suffering goes in a strange state of mind. What has been providing a lot of pleasures is now suddenly being taken away. Mind cannot tolerate that, it’s too much of a pain.

The pain and pleasure principle is working here too.

The greatest of all reasons is though, which I’ve suddenly been able to realize, and which has literally blown my mind over.

The fear of not being able to meet someone new – a doubt in self in one’s ability to keep a partner attracted is the root cause of all problems.

And now, Bob is imagining all the great times he has had with his partner. He wants them back, such great pleasures they were. He imagines the physical presence of his partner and the deliciousness it has which is being magnified by the mind now. Anything that mind doesn’t have is magnified and wanted even more. He hears the voice of his partner which his mind has become accustomed to. Every ring of the phone causes pain and an expectation of the partner’s call. The anchors have been set consciously and now they are working in synergy to cause the states Bob has to go through in spite of all his will power, which seems to be suspended for the time being.

Life becomes a hell. Focusing on NOT HAVING THE PARTNER is a negative focus and begins to attract even more negative things in life. Bob loses his capability to focus on good things, on his ability to attract. He loses his sense of worth.

The solution is straight – control of Focus. If you have been through such kind of an experience, you need to take control of your mind in a conscious way. Remember, what you focus upon – expands. By spending time talking to your partner, thinking about her (or him) and imagining pleasurable experiences, you have caused your mind to go into a state of expectation which depends on an external factor – your partner. Now he or she is in control – or at least this is how it seems to be.

SHIFT YOUR FOCUS. Go back to a powerfully attractive goal 6 months from now. If you don’t have it, make it now. In fact, go for a complete goal setting workshop.

And now, focus on the pleasures you can give to someone (which your partner has missed now). This is a question of your own sense of worth, self image and self confidence. It is advisable to live with the belief that you are the best possible choice any woman (or man) can make. Learn the art of attraction if you doubt your own ability to keep someone attracted. Be a prize, do not see opposite sex as prize. If you have to, act as if you can attract any one you wish. Know deep inside that you can never be alone and that universe and your own ability work together to always keep you busy.

Your partner has missed something very important – YOU.

Now get busy. Busy towards your goals. Having or not someone is a very small thing - remember the 80%, 15% and 5% principle. Be your own best company.

This is it. You can attract anyone and if not, you can learn to do so. Learn it, as soon as you can.

The Complexities of Human Mind

It’s almost amazing how human mind works.

The woman who recently came into my life doesn’t have a father. All the time that I have been talking to her about her interests, passions and the things she’s inclined towards shows something intriguing. Her mind is consistently trying to fulfil the need of having a father – a security – a feeling of having someone who really cares and loves her, in her life.

Nishabd, the movie, she said, had a powerful impact on her. At first I couldn’t understand why. What is it that intrigues her so much that she can’t resist? It is a story of a 60 year old man and an 18 year old teenager, both falling in love with each other.

“I see you as a father, husband…(and a few other nasty things)…I feel secure by having you in my life”, things like that she said to me. Security and love, she badly needs in her life.

Sometimes I am amazed at core absence of real love in all these relationships. If human mind is always busy focussing on things which it lacks, where and when will the real love emerge? Clearly this is NOT love.

Mr. J, the man through whom we had met, is such a figure for her too. She loves him too...she confessed. But she retreats, “He’s like my father”. Do I need to say anything else? He happens to be her favourite topic…

This also shows one very important thing. Women are attracted to their fathers at a deep unconscious level.

I consider this a new learning in the realm of human psychology.

This is how people get seduced. In trying to achieve unconsciously what they lack in their lives, they are seduced by everyone – advertisements, sales people, seducers….the list is endless. We are dying to be seduced, to be led away into an unknown direction where we can depend on someone else without using our own minds. Mind is lazy…and one who can control it can become a powerful seducer.

Great and successful people are also great seducers.

Thank God I am learning this wonderful art.

Magnet

A Major Realization

I just had a major realization.

The familiar empty feeling which has been eating my peace, happiness and confidence for so many years, probably from the very beginning of my first ever spark of interest towards women was just discovered. The source and the cause of it has been uncovered.

Thank God.

This is the problem due to which I fear being alone. I hate that feeling of loneliness, having to masturbate and watch pornos because I can’t take action in reality. I hate not being able to talk to a woman I want and fantasizing about her later.

The problem has been identified, finally.

Yesterday I was at my friend’s marriage. These days I have begun to understand the structure of attraction in practical terms and the results have been great. KP, a girl I met recently turned out to get serious for me, at least for the first few days, as it all began with a large attraction due to some reasons (that I discuss in another FR).

Similarly, I got in touch with another woman and she’s quite interested too. Things are going great.

And so, my journey has already begun. Two years – by the time I turn 25 years of age, I’ll be a master pick up artist, a great seducer, teaching others the art of meeting and attracting women.

This is a major realization, not an FR, just a reminder.

Before that, a sub-realization is that if I am not really attracted to a woman (en), I naturally don’t act in ways which will attract them too. But if I see a woman and get really attracted to her, she in turn begins to get attracted too. The reason may be any – and I had read it somewhere, I can’t quote it exactly though.

So at my friend’s marriage last night, I initiated an eye-contact with a girl (who I thought was bride’s sister) and got really interested to her level of confidence, looks and her presence of mind. She was a 7, considering all her traits.

Now, all was left was me approaching her and asking for her number.

I didn’t. And the excuse is, I couldn’t.

And now I have almost lost that chance.

And when I am back home, I am regretting having not tried, feeling that emptiness, loneliness and helplessness.

I could have failed if I had tried. But now the pain is even bigger. I didn’t even try.

The only thing which sooths me right now is that I have understood the biggest secret of achieving fulfilment in my life. Try – no matter what the results are. If I do not even try, I lose anyway. If I try, I feel confident, energised and like a warrior who wouldn’t give up. If I don’t, I feel worthless.

This is very important. The loop is problematic. This is exactly what has been stopping me my entire life.

I must approach, each and every time. Life is short and doesn’t give us many chances.

It’s necessary to take action in spite of our fears. Learning comes only by taking those chances which rest of the world can only fantasize about.

That’s it. I wouldn’t leave a damn chance now. Never. Ever. And this is a commitment to myself.

One more thing is that women are more attracted towards the kind of man and person you are than just your personality.

While men are attracted more towards looks, tits and ass and talk most of the time about these things to their friends, women are more attracted towards personality, self confidence, self discipline, sense of humour and to a sense of strong reality.

Dominance, status and control attract women when presented in an attractive, non threatening manner.

Looks are not THAT important. They are definitely helpful but not important.

Most of my life I have been depending on my looks whenever it has come to attract women. Smarter and more handsome men used to make me feel inferior, so did rich guys with good clothes and funky hair. Everything was wrong, everything. Although a good sense of fashion is important but only to the point where it displays the necessary qualities for attraction.

It’s possible to attract any woman I want using the right things. And all those things can be easily developed. And I have now beginning to understand this deeply.

Magnet