OK, I am relaxed after spilling my anger down on my keyboard. That was certainly frustrating. But still, frustration is a very positive signal. It tells me that I can do better and I need to do something about it.
So let's review what happened, what mistakes I did and how could I have done better..
FIRST DAY: My birthday was celebrated by my female colleagues, she was there. Therefore I build a lot of SOCIAL PROOF at the first meeting. It set me into her eyes as a desirable man.
1----> SOCIAL PROOF
Next, I started off with a deep eye contact expressing interest in her right off the bat. EYE CONTACT IS A POWERFUL WAY TO INITIATE SEXUAL COMMUNICATION. I actually made her look down and away many times. Plus I was relaxed and completely cool, laid back and having fun with my colleagues (all of them are girls). She must be wondering how do I have the guts to dominate someone so senior.
2----> EYE CONTACT and LAID BACK, PLAYFUL ATTITUDE. (Conveys I am dominant, I am getting enough and SHE is lucky to have the opportunity to prove herself. If she misses it, she is at loss).
Next, normal conversations followed. Nothing special, she was trying to teach something I never gave a shit about. I was expressing partial interest by eye contact and keeping it on until she looked away or DOWN !!!!(Conveys she is interested and INTO MY REALITY).
#PROBLEM IDENTIFICATION (1) If reality is such a powerful thing, then WHO AM I? WHAT IS MY IDENTITY? WHAT AM I RIGHT NOW AND WHAT DO I DESIRE TO BE?
IS MY IDENTITY AS A DOMINANT MALE ENOUGH? DOES IT HAS TO BE A PICK UP ARTIST? A SUCCESSFUL SEDUCER? A LADY-KILLER?
DOES IT HAVE TO BE SOMETHING THAT I WANT TO BE IN MY PROFESSION, A PUBLIC SPEAKER, A LIFE-COACH, A MASTER PERSUADER, A HEALTH EXPERT, A SUCCESS-COACH, A BRIDGE TO SUCCESS, A DEVOTED LOVER, A GREAT FATHER, A PHILANTHROPIST.
Well, I think I have to be both.
#####
DAY 2: MONDAY, 19 september: STARTED OFF RIGHT, She initiated the conversation. Continually giving hints as to proceed into something. I am cool and relaxed UNTIL I START THINKING ABOUT SCORING. I started to think 'She is beautiful, cute and available. What else do I need?' And I started to put pressure on myself for moving ahead.
Now I am confused? I don't know what to do next....so I fire off my cannon of excuses!
#EXCUSE (1) She is a senior, I must stay away from her.
#EXCUSE (2) I can seduce her but she is ordinary.
END OF THE DAY. NOTHING HAPPENS, SHE LEAVES expecting that I would do something the next day. I have no idea though.
DAY 3: I am late at work. Negative social proof, she conveys it with negative body language. But soon starts to open up, invites me to eat the lunch with her. DO IT? CONVERSATION is going good, she is still trying to build conversations. FEMALE ALWAYS EXPECT MAN TO DO SOMETHING.
END OF DAY 3. I was in pressure throughout the day. Didn't know what to do. AT the end of the day she went off, knowing I don't know what to do ahead. I don't know how to escalate.
THINGS I COULD HAVE DONE:
1) Asked for her number but then I think it would have been too forward. Am I mad? Isn't this what she wanted? I don't know .
2) Forget that she is a senior and proposed her. HUH? Forget it.
The thing is that I don't know what to do. This always happens. Either I'm too afraid to take things further or I am not just comfortable with the entire situation or I am not comfortable with my sexuality.
I need to do something about this.
FUTURE POSSIBILITIES:
This is not the first time that it happened but by such experiences I know very well that Once Attraction is initiated, it can be re-flamed anytime. I don't lose any hope since I know that a woman's response is based on the situation, her emotional nature is her greatest enemy (or friend, huh).
There is a way and I have to find this out.
-Eagle.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
FRUSTRATION
I am totally frustrated and angry on myself. Once again, the same thing, exactly the same thing that has given me immense pain throughout happened. And I had damn no idea how to control the situation.
Tell me how does it feel, 'There is a cute woman in front of you who is giving you every damn signal to go and open my libido and I don't know how to proceed.' AGAIN? I mean how many times it has to happen, I don't want this in my life. I am totally frustrated.
Now this has happened in the past and inspite of all the 'I will make it happen this time' goals I have set to improve this conditions, "I HAVE DONE NOTHING". This is my mistake and naturally I deserve this.
I don't give a fuck what somebody thinks of me now, I have to find out what's up with this fuckin'world of seduction.
-Eagle.
Tell me how does it feel, 'There is a cute woman in front of you who is giving you every damn signal to go and open my libido and I don't know how to proceed.' AGAIN? I mean how many times it has to happen, I don't want this in my life. I am totally frustrated.
Now this has happened in the past and inspite of all the 'I will make it happen this time' goals I have set to improve this conditions, "I HAVE DONE NOTHING". This is my mistake and naturally I deserve this.
I don't give a fuck what somebody thinks of me now, I have to find out what's up with this fuckin'world of seduction.
-Eagle.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Enlightment
The recent and GREATEST discovery of my life:
I have been able to discover the answer to the question that has eluded me for a long time:
Why do I fall again & again in the clasps of so called 'love', inspite of knowing all the pains that are associated with it?
Recently I had went back to my col where I met the woman I claim to have loved the most in my life. And while I was returning back, sitting in a car whose driver was generous enough to give me a lift all the way back to my city and almost sleeping, suddenly the answer flashed in my mind. I literally opened my eyes in amazement. I had found the answer to the question which would give me instant control of my life. The jolt was moving, I literally found myself having tears in my eyes, something that hadn't happen for years no matter how hard I tried to move myself into anything.
It was a blessed moment, really. Atleast for me it definately was.
Unconsciously (and all nasty things happen unconsciously), I have always been trying to find somebody on whom I can depend. It was never about sex as it seemed it was. The core problem had been the 'need to depend, to draw love and affection and to seek attention and approval.' No doubt success has eluded me so far.
Not only this, I have found that I am attracted to a woman with a typical physical qualities. I am literally amazed and astounded by the ability of my subconscious mind to find what it feels can provide me security. It's magnificent. When I will use it for my good consciously I can smell the wonders that are about to come my way.
Men are unconsciously attracted towards women who resemble their mothers, in all contexts. The whole life they go finding a woman exactly like that and actually ruin their life. Everyone is unique. This is the core of all problems.
Good luck to me!
-Eagle.
I have been able to discover the answer to the question that has eluded me for a long time:
Why do I fall again & again in the clasps of so called 'love', inspite of knowing all the pains that are associated with it?
Recently I had went back to my col where I met the woman I claim to have loved the most in my life. And while I was returning back, sitting in a car whose driver was generous enough to give me a lift all the way back to my city and almost sleeping, suddenly the answer flashed in my mind. I literally opened my eyes in amazement. I had found the answer to the question which would give me instant control of my life. The jolt was moving, I literally found myself having tears in my eyes, something that hadn't happen for years no matter how hard I tried to move myself into anything.
It was a blessed moment, really. Atleast for me it definately was.
Unconsciously (and all nasty things happen unconsciously), I have always been trying to find somebody on whom I can depend. It was never about sex as it seemed it was. The core problem had been the 'need to depend, to draw love and affection and to seek attention and approval.' No doubt success has eluded me so far.
Not only this, I have found that I am attracted to a woman with a typical physical qualities. I am literally amazed and astounded by the ability of my subconscious mind to find what it feels can provide me security. It's magnificent. When I will use it for my good consciously I can smell the wonders that are about to come my way.
Men are unconsciously attracted towards women who resemble their mothers, in all contexts. The whole life they go finding a woman exactly like that and actually ruin their life. Everyone is unique. This is the core of all problems.
Good luck to me!
-Eagle.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Transition Vulnerability
I am feeling the changes in myself as in the past few days I have been noticing great amount of changes in my behavior. I have started becoming more authentic. The book by John Bradshaw 'Healing the Shame that Binds you' has really helped me understanding the problem that I had been into at the deepest core of my personality.
This is the time of transition. I am taking baby steps (and how long it took to start taking these steps). Sometimes I feel down, low and disappointed when the things don't seem to work out. But I know it's time when the things will start falling into place by themselves. Every encounter brings a new learning and I have to be relaxed and cool, using every opportunity to learn something, without fearing the failure.
I have not started the approaching part yet. I have reasons for this but I believe it's more of a procrastination. Although I am going to do it soon and it will be probably the greatest relief of my life.
Right now I am a little confused but it's time when things will fall into place.
-Eagle.
This is the time of transition. I am taking baby steps (and how long it took to start taking these steps). Sometimes I feel down, low and disappointed when the things don't seem to work out. But I know it's time when the things will start falling into place by themselves. Every encounter brings a new learning and I have to be relaxed and cool, using every opportunity to learn something, without fearing the failure.
I have not started the approaching part yet. I have reasons for this but I believe it's more of a procrastination. Although I am going to do it soon and it will be probably the greatest relief of my life.
Right now I am a little confused but it's time when things will fall into place.
-Eagle.
SEDUCTION
Since the very first day the man inside me started feeling nuts for some strange reason towards the species I only knew how to fight with till then, I have been surprised and bewildered by the complexity of the female mind. I just couldn't get it, I used to feel that I am dealing with aliens. Ya understand my feelings, don't you guys?? (If you don't, you need help)
One day I felt that I'd had enough, I had to change. And the moment I decided to change, I could feel a BIG difference. Trust me, that was the first ever moment when I felt some kind of a passion and inspiration in my life. And this was some two years back. From then, as I began my exploration of the female mind I began to realize that things are different in this process, there is a whole different world. Men and Women are communicating at a deep and subtle frequency that is invisible to the eyes of those who don't naturally get it. Unfortunately, men fall in the majority of this 'nerd' group, the fair half seems to know it naturally somehow.
I am not a fanatic but I believe Seduction is a religion in itself. It's a grand process. Those who understand it have the privilege to enjoy one of the greatest pleasures life can offer, the unlimited company of opposite sex. Nothing has fascinated me more than the deep complexity of seduction, I'm glad I took the decision to take this journey.
Today, we have an entire community dedicated towards the improvement of guys from all around the world. Great opportunities lies for those who want to improve and learn in this field. I am going to share my entire journey on this blog. Although I have a lot to say what I did in last two years(which were used good enough to balance my inner self), I believe I must stick to the more practical steps I am about to take to get better at this stuff. If you are one of those who wants to take this seriously, open yourself up. You are more than welcome here.
And that's the greatest paradox of Seduction. You have to be serious enough to make things happen, but you can't take it seriously. It's a light hearted game, to be enjoyed as you play it carefully.
Regards,
Eagle.
One day I felt that I'd had enough, I had to change. And the moment I decided to change, I could feel a BIG difference. Trust me, that was the first ever moment when I felt some kind of a passion and inspiration in my life. And this was some two years back. From then, as I began my exploration of the female mind I began to realize that things are different in this process, there is a whole different world. Men and Women are communicating at a deep and subtle frequency that is invisible to the eyes of those who don't naturally get it. Unfortunately, men fall in the majority of this 'nerd' group, the fair half seems to know it naturally somehow.
I am not a fanatic but I believe Seduction is a religion in itself. It's a grand process. Those who understand it have the privilege to enjoy one of the greatest pleasures life can offer, the unlimited company of opposite sex. Nothing has fascinated me more than the deep complexity of seduction, I'm glad I took the decision to take this journey.
Today, we have an entire community dedicated towards the improvement of guys from all around the world. Great opportunities lies for those who want to improve and learn in this field. I am going to share my entire journey on this blog. Although I have a lot to say what I did in last two years(which were used good enough to balance my inner self), I believe I must stick to the more practical steps I am about to take to get better at this stuff. If you are one of those who wants to take this seriously, open yourself up. You are more than welcome here.
And that's the greatest paradox of Seduction. You have to be serious enough to make things happen, but you can't take it seriously. It's a light hearted game, to be enjoyed as you play it carefully.
Regards,
Eagle.
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