LESSONS (1)

OK, I am relaxed after spilling my anger down on my keyboard. That was certainly frustrating. But still, frustration is a very positive signal. It tells me that I can do better and I need to do something about it.

So let's review what happened, what mistakes I did and how could I have done better..

FIRST DAY: My birthday was celebrated by my female colleagues, she was there. Therefore I build a lot of SOCIAL PROOF at the first meeting. It set me into her eyes as a desirable man.

1----> SOCIAL PROOF

Next, I started off with a deep eye contact expressing interest in her right off the bat. EYE CONTACT IS A POWERFUL WAY TO INITIATE SEXUAL COMMUNICATION. I actually made her look down and away many times. Plus I was relaxed and completely cool, laid back and having fun with my colleagues (all of them are girls). She must be wondering how do I have the guts to dominate someone so senior.

2----> EYE CONTACT and LAID BACK, PLAYFUL ATTITUDE. (Conveys I am dominant, I am getting enough and SHE is lucky to have the opportunity to prove herself. If she misses it, she is at loss).

Next, normal conversations followed. Nothing special, she was trying to teach something I never gave a shit about. I was expressing partial interest by eye contact and keeping it on until she looked away or DOWN !!!!(Conveys she is interested and INTO MY REALITY).

#PROBLEM IDENTIFICATION (1) If reality is such a powerful thing, then WHO AM I? WHAT IS MY IDENTITY? WHAT AM I RIGHT NOW AND WHAT DO I DESIRE TO BE?

IS MY IDENTITY AS A DOMINANT MALE ENOUGH? DOES IT HAS TO BE A PICK UP ARTIST? A SUCCESSFUL SEDUCER? A LADY-KILLER?

DOES IT HAVE TO BE SOMETHING THAT I WANT TO BE IN MY PROFESSION, A PUBLIC SPEAKER, A LIFE-COACH, A MASTER PERSUADER, A HEALTH EXPERT, A SUCCESS-COACH, A BRIDGE TO SUCCESS, A DEVOTED LOVER, A GREAT FATHER, A PHILANTHROPIST.

Well, I think I have to be both.

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DAY 2: MONDAY, 19 september: STARTED OFF RIGHT, She initiated the conversation. Continually giving hints as to proceed into something. I am cool and relaxed UNTIL I START THINKING ABOUT SCORING. I started to think 'She is beautiful, cute and available. What else do I need?' And I started to put pressure on myself for moving ahead.

Now I am confused? I don't know what to do next....so I fire off my cannon of excuses!

#EXCUSE (1) She is a senior, I must stay away from her.

#EXCUSE (2) I can seduce her but she is ordinary.

END OF THE DAY. NOTHING HAPPENS, SHE LEAVES expecting that I would do something the next day. I have no idea though.

DAY 3: I am late at work. Negative social proof, she conveys it with negative body language. But soon starts to open up, invites me to eat the lunch with her. DO IT? CONVERSATION is going good, she is still trying to build conversations. FEMALE ALWAYS EXPECT MAN TO DO SOMETHING.

END OF DAY 3. I was in pressure throughout the day. Didn't know what to do. AT the end of the day she went off, knowing I don't know what to do ahead. I don't know how to escalate.

THINGS I COULD HAVE DONE:

1) Asked for her number but then I think it would have been too forward. Am I mad? Isn't this what she wanted? I don't know .

2) Forget that she is a senior and proposed her. HUH? Forget it.

The thing is that I don't know what to do. This always happens. Either I'm too afraid to take things further or I am not just comfortable with the entire situation or I am not comfortable with my sexuality.

I need to do something about this.


FUTURE POSSIBILITIES:

This is not the first time that it happened but by such experiences I know very well that Once Attraction is initiated, it can be re-flamed anytime. I don't lose any hope since I know that a woman's response is based on the situation, her emotional nature is her greatest enemy (or friend, huh).

There is a way and I have to find this out.

-Eagle.